Health Advice for Women (and men) – A Sauvignon Tale

A Funny Bit from the Internet

drink red wineI DON’T know who to attribute this funny bit to (below) since I received it via a mass email mailing with no author identified.

I want to share it though because it made me smile. More importantly, this is a good parody of the drug companies’ TV commercial onslaught to make everyone think that they have some health problem, such as erectile dysfunction or indigestion, when in reality only a small percent of the population does.

(And, by the way, a 70-year old man IS SUPPOSED to be less sexually vigorous than a 20-year old — this is not a problem that needs to be corrected by drugs. And, by the way, indigestion can be solved by eating more fruits, vegetables and fiber, along with digestive enzymes. You don’t need drugs! Check out this post, End Sluggish Digestion.)

As the doctors say, a glass of red wine in the evening reduces stress and may reduce the chances of heart disease… but beware of these side effects (ha!)…


Important Health Advice for Women

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready (and willing) to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:

* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you can converse enthusiastically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information with as many women as you feel may benefit!

Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz …………..

Last Updated on December 5, 2014 by Joe Garma

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Joe Garma
 

I help people live with more vitality and strength. I'm a big believer in sustainability, and am a bit nutty about optimizing my diet, supplements, hormones and exercise. To get exclusive Updates, tips and be on your way to a stronger, more youthful body, join my weekly Newsletter. You can also find me on LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram.

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